How's Your Sense of Humor? (page 2)
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded 2 AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button.
NOTHING!! I was disappointed.
I learned however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only 2 AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) but thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.
But If I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. AM I WRONG?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand and taser in the other.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant. A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control. A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4" in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with 2 itsy bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’
What happened next is beyond description, but I’ll do my best!
I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, ’Don’t do it, goofball’ reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little thing couldn’t possibly hurt all that bad..
I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
conclusion on page 3