10 Clues to a Great Retirement
Just Don’t Ask Brett Farve!
When Brett Farve retired, Sports Illustrated asked him what he was going to do and he proudly replied, “Nothing. And I’m going to stick to that until I do something else.” How can such a smart guy fail to understand the first basic rule of retirement?
If you don’t have purpose, you will run out of fuel. Looking forward to nothing is empty and depressing, as Brett realized in short order. It is also dangerous.
Let’s stop picking on Mr. Farve. Thousands of successful Americans are retiring each year before they are ready. At least they were before their portfolios sank this year. It has absolutely nothing to do with age. They may be fed up or fried, they may want their stock options before the company tanks, someone may push them out to make room for a younger version, or they may simply think they are the right age to retire.
Clue #1: No age is right if you don’t have relevant purpose.
A career military officer retired several months ago. Last week he was alphabetizing the cans in the pantry and asked his wife where to put the baked beans; under BA for baked or BE for beans. She told him to get a life or get out. Janet Mountain, former Dell executive and current head of the Dell Foundation, recently told a story about her dad retiring from a long and dedicated career. Her mother said, “I married him for better or for worse, but not for lunch!” My father-in-law has a very simple but effective plan for retirement. He still gets up and goes to work every day. It may be errands around town or four rounds of golf per week, building a new home, or a road trip to visit friends and family. The key is that he has purpose and he is having fun.
Clue #2: Your spouse is no more ready than you are.
Change without direction or purpose spells trouble. I retired two years ago. After working at least two-thirds of my waking hours for 35 years, I thought I was ready. My family was elated. And then reality hit us like a brick. I started asking questions like, “Is that how you always do that?” Or, “Have you ever thought about . . .?” I started to notice things that bother me, right here at home. Were they here the whole time? She would give me a look that says, “I’ve got one nerve left and you’re on it.” Six months into retirement, it was time for me to start a consulting company. Things are improving now. There is a nice mix of family, golf, business, and community. My wife and I are getting to know each other all over again.
Clue #3: Purpose is a powerful but quiet force of life.
It is well documented that without purpose, longevity is limited for human beings. We all want to feel relevant. How we define our relevancy changes in retirement. After being a success in a career filled with leadership, relationships, contribution, meaning and happiness, playing mediocre golf with a bunch of old men at the country club isn’t always enough. And after the third cruise, most former leaders are ready to kill the entertainment director. On the other hand, last week I asked my dad (75) what he was doing, and he said, “Mowing lawns for old people.” He wasn’t kidding. He is a very busy guy, and most of it is about helping others.
Clue #4: Resist the temptation to do mental performance appraisals.
The waiter, the yard guy, the roofer, and God forbid your own family members are now subject to mental performance appraisals. If you use this newfound time on your hands to evaluate the performance of those around you, one of two things will happen. If you keep it to yourself, it will drive you bonkers. If you mention your observations, someone will beat you up. Just don’t go there!
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